• Kajal Wellbeing

Be The Change

I will not be respected and honoured of my rights because I didn’t have the privilege of being the son of this family!

How many women or girls have you witnessed being bullied for their rights to inherit family wealth?

Besides being told what to wear, where to go, where to look, what to speak, and whom to marry, many have never had the rights to own their life! Many have all their life been taught to give, forgive, be silenced for even raising their needs! Many have only learnt how to feed others, clean after others, and looking after the family and keeping unity, yet no one has ever heard their voice or even felt their wet pillow soaked with tears every night! girls are always taught to give! To do! To just be! To accept! Yet when it comes to receiving, many might be lucky if we make it to the longest queue!

Growing up, I have seen women being shut down for giving their opinions or even trying to express their simple needs! Yet, the same women are the reasons behind many success’s, bigger wealth, health and growth! Without this women, the family would be nothing! It’s the women who bring light and shine into every home through the love, support, patience, keeping peace, letting go, never stopping their kitchen or cleaning jobs, and managing to bring everyone under one roof by making food that brings people together!

Yet, when it comes to inheritance, they are out casted! They don’t even get a chance to stand and be heard! Why?

I recently have witnessed cases where women were treated so badly!

One of them looked after the whole clan, picking after their shit! got a small portion of fathers wealth and brothers got a large portion!

I felt terrible because knowing her, she was sitting with a hope of being accepted as a daughter with equal rights! She did everything following the books of what her family has always expected, yet when it comes to receiving, she was written off for not qualifying the rights! The power went to the brothers, because they are the name barrier of the family!

In many cases there is no freedom or peace from financial control! It’s like the money begging has kept women tied! Yet, some of this women, if given a chance would equally raise an army and conquer a city!

I know, many would say “they shouldn’t have depended on fathers for support etc” but the reality is- many have no choice to escape the large family and society pressure! The same people who set rules, also lay the boundaries of no return policy!

One lady didn’t even inherit a single penny from her fathers wealth! Every single money and properties went to the boys! How shameful and cruel is that? I have known this girl and know how desperate she had been to even be accepted in the family or loved! As a daughter, she was always made to feel like she belongs else where! After her wedding, she struggled financially coming from wealthy family and marrying into a simple family- yet her parents didn’t offer to help her with mortgage and bought the brothers houses all outright! I mean the whole thing feels so unfair, yet some people in our society still support such behaviour and think it’s okay!

I can never in my dreams think of treating my daughter any different to my son! I have three boys and a girls! Rules apply to all equally, be it rules to clean, work, give or receive! There is no difference! I see all as humans, and treat them like I would wish to be treated.

Those who do this injustice between man and women spread such a wrong message to the next generation. It is never fair to think, that one is less than the other! If blood is blood, and it is what you have preached to your kids for generations, then prove it by making an honest and fair decision.

The narcissistic behaviour of control of everything, even after your death is good for nobody! Most families fall apart, and relations end over money matters, just because injustice is done by those who don’t want to part this world by letting go of greed- greed for money!

Another thing to note is one might assume that your will or estate plan ensures that your money will go to your intended heirs. But inheritance theft is an insidious and underreported problem that can cost families dearly. And since inheritance thieves are usually family members, the fallout often is not only about money, but also family ties.

By giving everything to your sons does never mean you love them more! If anything, it means you have left them with a curse to continue a legacy filled with lies and deception.

In one case recently, a family member prepared a fake will to a real will, giving the forger a bigger slice of the inheritance pie.

I know things are changing, but bigger changes are necessary! People need to support those who are wrongly treated. People need to break this chain of difference!

This post is not aiming to belittle anyone! It’s about spreading awareness! It’s speaking up for those who have no voice and to awaken those that could make, or bring a change!

If you are that brother who is left with all the inheritance, be the bigger and better person and treat your mother, wife and sister equally.

Accepting the wrong doing of someone else has never made anything right for the other! You can say no to being part of such a forge! Be real man, and don’t sit on the bigger slice of the inheritance! Learn from the person who left the bigger portion for you- did he manage to even finish quarter if it? Was he the legend who lived a life of spreading fairness? Was he happy sitting on all that money just to play an unfair play on inheritance at his death bed? Remember, you are being watched, not only by your surrounding, but your actions will mark your karma.

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