• Kajal Wellbeing

Love at first sight

He didn’t even have a picture on his dating profile when I clicked on it, but I liked what I read enough to reach out to reply to his emails.

It wasn’t long before we were texting. The conversations went very well, but I didn’t get carried away. I had trust issues!

I had met plenty of people where the connection seemed great by text, only for things to fizzle in person. Or the person would show up and look considerably different than I had been led to believe.

When we finally met I was highly impressed. He wore a lovely form of fitted white smart shirt, grey Rees trousers that showed what a great body he had. His face was even more handsome than his pictures had led me to believe. I whispered, “not bad looking!” His personality was nothing like his texting. He was very at ease and funny in texting.

In person, he was nervous and shy and that contributed to this shift in personality, but it was something more than that. He also appeared to have an innocence about him that most people his age lacked.

The date was wonderful. When we finally decided to leave 4 or 5 hours had zipped by.

When we were saying goodbye, he decided to kiss me. It was not a kiss designed to obtain sex. It was simply a kiss that demonstrated how he felt about the date.

While I felt great about this date, I was not ready to declare this to be my dream man just yet. Any two people can have a great first date. No, I was not yet fully sold quite yet. He declared his falling in love on the first date! He explained it was love at first sight! I explained to him, I had no sight 😆 I was only looking to meet, have fun and also built my confidence and trust!

I was his first date, after his separation from his first marriage! So, being the character I am, I decided to be his advisor and advised him to go on more dates etc...He was a little offended and thought it was my way of rejecting him! I do enjoy pushing people’s buttons to see how they react.

I certainly wasn’t prepared for what he said next. He said, “I’m going no where Kajal, I’m here to be with you and I will keep trying to impress you, until you say yes to be my girlfriend”. WOW! I thought in gujju “ pagal manas.” Meaning crazy man!

After that meeting there was daily text amd calls. I wasn’t used too much attention! So at first, it felt like someone was invading my privacy, and at times I had to block him to breath! This, didn’t stop him at all...He was so loving, full of romance and consistent! That’s when I began to fall in love with him. Never had I ever been made to feel so beautiful.Nor had any man that I found attractive and interesting ever been so forthright with his feelings right after a first date. It was shocking and incredible.

I had complained for years about my ex-husband lacking any romanticism and this man had spilled out his feelings and desires to me without holding anything back. Looking back at all those wonderful things he said to me and continues to say them each day to date, life feels at balance.

We have been together for 9 years and he has showed a whole new way to building trust. He is sincere and authentic when he says things. I always wanted to have a partner whom I could speak, be friends with, trust, love, give myself passionately and hold a relationship without feeling of fear or frustration. I’m glad I was able to find my soul mate even after being told by people that it was impossible, especially because I had four kids. I realised over the years, that what people say to you, is out of their own fear and outcome! Your life is yours to design and walk your own path by making your choices and trusting your gut feelings.

When you first meet someone it’s natural to feel overwhelmed with positive emotions about that person. I have learnt that communication is the most important key to any successful relationship.

Having worked on myself and carefully studied how to improve my relationships with my partner and those I care for, now I approach them by giving freely of myself and not expecting someone to match me.

I give my absolute best to my partner and let things happen naturally. There is no forcing it. There is no pushing. There is no complaining. We do our best to meet our needs and desires. It’s about give and take.

I’ve found this to be highly successful. But of course it takes two to have a wonderful relationship.

I have no doubt whatsoever that our relationship will only get better and that it will last a lifetime.

I do believe that you must love yourself before you can appropriately love someone else. Loving yourself is not looking in the mirror and liking what you see or telling yourself that you are awesome.

Loving yourself is getting to know yourself completely, faults and all. Accepting that I wasn’t perfect and working on myself helped me deal with many things and people! When we accept ourselves, then you accept who that person is and begin to seriously work on your shortcomings. Above all, you stop focusing on yourself as much and start focusing on others.

Of course I wanted someone that’s physically attractive and is fun, but above all I wanted someone that was thoughtful, loyal and a nice person.

The goal is to find someone with all those characteristics, but I strongly urge you to accept nothing less than someone that is thoughtful.

The absolute best looking person I ever went out with, before my I met my partner of course, turned out to be the most selfish and least interesting person I ever met as well. I focused on looks and that’s what I got. And nothing more.

Now I have exactly what I am looking for. That sweet, thoughtful, romantic, smart, funny, and wonderful soul that I dreamed about as a kid.

This post is to encourage those who are single and want to date, but hold very little hope! Please don’t give up! There is love for all...Open your mindset, be open to receiving love. Work on your fears first, and please don’t let anyone block your dreams. Speak to dating coaches and let them guide you and I hope this story will inspire you to work on your relationship goals.

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