• Kajal Wellbeing

Raise a man, not a manchild.

This week I have had so many emails from women writing about how unhappy their lives are because of constant pressure from their mothers-in-law! One email stated that the daughter Inlaw has to massage her mother in laws feet before going to bed, no matter how tired or exhausted she is! I asked if her mother-in-law had any disability? Her reply was that her mother-in-law is perfectly fine with no health issues, is not on any med's or taking any therapy. It's her rules set from the time she married her son off! This poor soul (daughter-in-law) has a 9-5 job, and she is also responsible for cooking and the house upkeep! Her “child husband” gets very cross if she doesn’t massage his mother's feet! The lady stated in her email that her MIL still passes sarcastic comments that her son could have done better at finding a wife from a well-respected family!

My advice to this MIL is, she could have considered the choice of right or wrong before caging someone's daughter. Perhaps she could have considered that maybe her son and she needed more than just a wife or daughter-in-law. Perhaps they both didn't know what each wanted! Maybe he just wasn't ready for a woman in his life? Maybe the love for his mother forced him to marry a woman, and that wasn't his sex choice? Perhaps she just needed to keep her man child and pay for a weekly maid to clean the house, a masseur to massage her feet, a therapist to sit and listen to her mental stress, an uber service to cook and deliver food, and perhaps she could have considered her financial status before making all these demands! If only I was the judge! I learned from my own life drama that No matter how perfect you are, in the end, greed is blind! So, if you are stuck in a rut of perfecting for someone else, please think twice! If your mother Inlaw brought up a man child then try your best to raise a man in him- Do the job of a noblewoman. If that doesn't work, see a professional, if that doesn't work- get a life! I have raised three boys into gentlemen! They have been taught how to treat a lady, just like how they would wish their sister to be treated by her Prince Charming! The photo attached to this story was taken almost fourteen years ago! My kids are now adults and I will not tolerate injustice under my roof. time for a change in our society. Treat other's the way you wish to be treated. Treat others the way you wish your very own to be treated and that's the end to the story of a healthy family. When you marry your son off, remember he is marrying the other woman and not you! He is marrying his wife and the barrier of his kids, and the life support of his well-being and success. So please be mindful of how you speak and treat your daughter in law! She holds a lot more power than your little mind, pride, ego, and jealousy can imagine. She holds a lot more than blood! Raise a man, not a man child! Before you point fingers at someone else daughter, watch where you come from, and question yourself why your mind is so twisted! “Perfect yourself for YOU! Perfect after your own health and if those that you live with don’t respect you or have any value for your kindness, then please take a breather and move forward! Most people on their death beds regret losing life to the time lost and not to any known diseases or material assets. “Perfect is the enemy of the good.” I understand it’s a noble belief to do things ‘right’ however what’s the point in having goals if they are never achieved because they are burdened by this ‘perfection’ millstone. Remember, absolutely nothing happens until you understand your own worth! For daily motivation Follow me on Instagram by clicking this link

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