Who Are You in Your Marriage? Healing After Betrayal, Divorce, and Emotional Suppression

Struggling with emotional loss after a breakup or divorce? Explore this raw and relatable blog on reclaiming your identity, moving on from betrayal, and finding healing after a narcissistic relationship, a gentle guide from grief to growth.

Who Are You in Your Marriage?

By Kajal Mehta, Founder of Kajal’s Wellness TreeDivorce Recovery Coach | Grief to Growth Mentor | Healing from Narcissistic Relationships

Who am I in my marriage, and who do I become when I’m alone with myself?

This blog comes from my journey through divorce, heartbreak, betrayal, and the painful unraveling of a marriage I thought I had to keep alive at all costs.

Like many, I spent years operating from a place of acts of service. I gave endlessly! Before my husband asked, I’d already anticipated his need. I cooked, served, forgave, compromised, and softened, not because I was told to, but because somewhere deep inside I believed, that if I do more, I’ll be loved more.

I never paused to ask, Was I ever truly seen?

Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships

For me, it started long before marriage. I grew up in a world of deprivation filled with emotional, physical, and relational. I learned that love wasn't freely given, you had to earn it, so I became someone who worked to receive love. If I wanted comfort, I had to give something up. If I wanted peace, I had to stay silent. This conditioning followed me into adulthood, into my marriage, into my motherhood. I didn’t know how to just be! I only knew how to do.

Until my marriage crumbled and I was left alone with one terrifying question, Who was I without the role I played?

Questions That Wake Us Up

If you're reading this, you may be navigating:

• A divorce that left you shattered

• A breakup with a narcissistic partner

• The invisible pain of being in a relationship where you feel unseen and unheard

• The grief of losing a life you worked so hard to build

Let me ask you gently:

• Do you think your partner ever really knew the real you?

• What parts of your truth did you swallow to stay safe or keep the peace?

• When you served, helped, and gave endlessly... what were you hoping to receive in return?

• What scares you more — being alone, or being invisible in the relationship you're in?

These aren’t easy questions. But they are the beginning of recovery.

Healing After Divorce and Betrayal

The path to healing after a toxic relationship or marriage breakdown isn’t about blaming yourself or your ex, it’s about finally, and deeply coming home to you.

It took me years to understand that I wasn’t broken, I was just buried under expectations, old beliefs, trauma patterns, and the roles I learned to play.

When I began my healing, I realised:

• I am enough, not because of what I do, but because of who I am

• I don’t need to shrink or shape-shift to be loved

• My emotions are not a burden, they are my truth

• I can love without disappearing

and now, this is what I help others do.

From Grief to Growth, Your Healing Journey

At https://www.wellnesstree.uk/contact-3 I support individuals who are navigating:

• The emotional wreckage of divorce or separation

• Recovery after narcissistic abuse

• Grief that feels impossible to express

• Deep-rooted patterns of people-pleasing and over-giving

• A desire to find their voice, power, and purpose after a relationship ends

My approach blends holistic tools, including emotional body healing, trauma-informed coaching, and somatic practices to help you move from grief to growth.

A Gentle Reminder:

If you're in a season of heartbreak or quiet confusion, know this, you are not alone. You are not too much. You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to be seen.

Your pain is real, and so is your power. You don’t need to do more to be loved, you just need to remember who you are beneath the roles, the silence, and the survival.

Ready to Begin Again?

If this blog speaks to your heart, I invite you to explore my 1:1 Divorce Recovery & Relationship Healing Coaching. Whether you’re in the thick of betrayal, walking through separation, or rebuilding your self-worth after a toxic relationship, I’m here to walk with you.

Click here to book a free discovery call or browse my offerings at www.kajalswellnesstree.com

With warmth and truth,

Kajal Mehta Divorce Recovery Coach & Holistic Therapist Kajal’s Wellness Tree